It has been a few years since I posted here. In that time my family has moved to Alaska and we have added new members (I now how three beautiful daughters). A couple of months ago, as part of a Facebook group, I was asked to share a journey that my wife and I have been on for the past 12+ months. Here is what I shared in that group.
A little over a year ago my wife and I were eagerly awaiting the birth of our third child, and first son, John. His due date was June 8, 2019 (a year ago today), and my wife's water broke at 6:30 AM on May 27 (Memorial Day). So far, nothing unusual. We spent the day preparing for a planned home birth and called our midwife after about 12-13 hours of labor to come on out. She arrived around 7:30 PM and did her normal checkup procedures. This is when she made a startling discovery: John had flipped from head down on Friday to a breach position on Monday (likely what caused the water to break). This presented us with a 1 in 1000 danger.
Our midwife was trained for these situations, being a labor/delivery RN and having trained specifically in natural delivery of breach births. She has successfully delivered several in her career with no issues ever before. She had to go get some more supplies from her clinic as she had forgotten a couple of supplies and she left Mindy and I to talk the situation over. Our options were to go to the hospital for an emergency C-Section or continue with the planned home birth. The risk factors for a C-Section or a breach birth are statistically about the same. We also live in an area where there was no guarantee that we could get to the hospital in time to do a C-Section given how advanced Mindy was in labor.
We prayed about the situation and decided to go ahead with the home delivery. Confident that God had everything under control and had a definite plan in all that we were seeing. Our midwife returned and we informed her of our decision.
At 12:00 AM on Tuesday, May 28, 2019, the midwife told me to call 911. At that point everything was going fine, she was being cautious and wanted an ambulance coming just in case (the ambulance is housed a block away). At 12:02 arms, legs, and body were all out, but not his head. Mindy's contractions stopped. It took the paramedics, our midwife and her 3 assistants 15 minutes to get his head out and complete the birth. John never took a breath.
This started my wife and I on an emotional roller coaster we had never expected. I tend to plan for the worst possible scenarios and this was something I had never considered. I rode with John in the ambulance to the hospital praying desperately for a miracle. I called friends and fellow pastors in the area, no one answered the phone. I called my parents in Michigan and told them what was happening. My mother-in-law from Indiana called just to get an update on how things were going and I had to tell her the devastating news. The son and grandson we had all eagerly waited for, was gone.
The last year has been a trial. Many tears have been shed. Much heartache endured. Through it all we have remained confident that God is in control. We refused to allow ourselves to dwell on "Why did it happen?" The reality is there is no answer to that question that will satisfy. Our church family and my fire department family, and our friends, and family stepped up beside us and supported us. They cried with us when it was needed, they laughed with us when able.
In my grief I wrote a song (one of the things I do). It was a song about the loss of John, it was a song about God giving up his Son for us. It was a reminder that in all things "God is by my side reminding me of his sacrifice. In Jesus arms we all are held, the warmth of love to overwhelm the times of doubt and deep dismay, as hope abounds in Jesus' name."
On May 17, 2020, at 4:42 AM. My wife and I welcomed our 4th child, and third daughter, Hannah into our lives. Almost a year to the day that we lost John, we added this precious member to our family. She is a true joy to us (even if slightly exhausting) these past three weeks. The reality is that she would not be here if John had lived. We wouldn't have tried again for a while. I don't know what God's plan for her is, but I know that He has a plan for her and for our family in the days to come.
On May 17, 2020, at 4:42 AM. My wife and I welcomed our 4th child, and third daughter, Hannah into our lives. Almost a year to the day that we lost John, we added this precious member to our family. She is a true joy to us (even if slightly exhausting) these past three weeks. The reality is that she would not be here if John had lived. We wouldn't have tried again for a while. I don't know what God's plan for her is, but I know that He has a plan for her and for our family in the days to come.
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